11) Isiah Thomas lurking in shadows
Steve Mills tried to make it clear that Isiah Thomas would not be part of any of the Knicks future plans, but that’s not enough for me to believe him. He might be telling the truth, but not even he can go against the erratic decrees of James Dolan. It says a lot about how epically horrendous Thomas’s tenure was with the Knicks when many of us still tremble at the mere mention of his name. Until Thomas becomes hired in a steady position, hundreds of miles away from New York, I don’t feel safe. Just like Chucky, he’s a reoccurring boogeyman for Knicks fan that somehow can’t just go away. He’s always lurking amongst the shadows of MSG.
12) James Dolan
Speaking of old Jimmy D…. If Isiah is a boogeyman, then that leaves the most ghastly ghoul of them all left standing: the dark overlord himself, James Dolan. As long as Dolan owns the Knicks, there’s no telling when one of his patented Friday evening press releases could be dispatched. You know the ones I’m talking about? The ones that announce the removal of respected league executive Glen Grunwald for Garden lackey Steve Mills. The ones that announce JR Smith’s brother made the Knicks roster over Jeremy Tyler. The ones that read, “On second thought, we take back what we said about Jeremy Lin. We like Raymond Felton instead.” Dolan has a long history of irrational and erratic moves that have kept Knick fans up at night and he’s shown no signs of changing. It’s been widely speculated that Donnie Walsh’s tenure with the Knicks came at the urging of David Stern himself who couldn’t bear to watch the league’s premier market suffer at the hands of Dolan and Thomas, subsequently. Well, as seen from last year’s bizarre “Melo-spy gate” story, Dolan can’t help but to insert himself into the Knicks on court matters, and that’s something that should always terrify you. I mean… have you heard JD and the Straight Shot?!
13.) And the most terrifying site of all? Lock your doors, prepare yourself, and click if you dare.